Contradictions~
Over many days, I was thinking of the difference between thoughts and actions. Many times we hold certain thoughts and certain beliefs but when it comes to action, we find it difficult to implement. In a sense, we become hypocrites. I have been pondering over this for some time. When i was younger, I was passionate about what i believed in but I used to hold them back because of the emotionally unfavorable conditions i was growing up in.
I dont mean to say love was not there. Love was there but questioning authority and expressing certain opinions was frowned upon because it did not match up. Whenever i used to express, it was frowned upon. Slowly the voice got silenced. It was there but the respect for authority would overwhelm it. Inside me, the voice would rumble and grumble. Outside, there would be the external acquiescence. Everybody would think of me as a nice, sweet person. Which is what they want to see in me. The more I suppressed myself, The more i changed into someone else.
The only place where I did take independent decisions was my studies and career. I thought what was right and I followed it up. There were ups and downs in the course of my career/studies. I never regretted and I learnt a lot.
The question I ask myself is why I never applied the same vigorous independence of thought/action in other areas of my life? Why is it that in one area, I never allowed anyone to question or doubt my decisions while on other areas i was quite the tame cat? Was it a sort of compromise I paid for allowing one set of dreams to be fruitful? Possible. A Sort of selling out for one’s survival. I am not sure.
In the process, in those areas, which I felt deprived or felt the lack of freedom or more importance, the lack of courage to express the need for freedom, I experienced the urge to take rash steps. To Try out things on my own. To explore and adventure. In hindsight, I feel it looked adventurous but it may have been rash on my part. But during those times it was the only thing to do. Sometimes, my adventures worked out. Sometimes it did not.
I will not say that all that i have thought or i have believed in were entirely correct. But time and experiences have molded them. I have learnt many valuable lessons.
But this contradiction still makes me ponder how in some situations what holds us back from expressing the full of us. Why do we have this lack of courage? How do we improve upon it? How do we become an uniformly courageous, rather than in bits and patches?
At the end of the day it is all about survival and making the most of what you got. Maybe these contradictions help us in managing our lives better?
What do you think?
ur right.. its all about survival, no matter going back n think about the past
thanks for the read
thanks
One way to look back at all these experiences is to say, they were what made us into what we are today! The good and the bad were equally responsible for it.
As to selective rebellion, you should be happy that at least your could exercise that.. There are others like me who didn’t even have that luxury, until one got out of it all- by leaving the home behind!
Having said that, it may be a defense mechanism of our consciousness.. Surrender everything else for the one thing that we hold most important. Even the otherwise coward might stand up and fight when what s/he loves most is facing a danger?
Life is indeed an enigma.. not easy to decipher!
true. good to know that there many of us have common experiences
) ~ defense mechanism~~ yes may be you are right..
Just Superb ! Well Written !
)
These are the feelings which every person goes through . It happens with everyone..We pass through such phases of life..Never sure about our decisions in a life of Trials and tribulations.. whether to follow our heart or give in to peer pressure..
I have faced similar situations in my life..My father being very strict about my choice of studies and career..Ultimately I succeeded in keeping with my choice..cajoled him..requested him on many instances..Things are quite different now..I try not to force my beliefs or thoughts on any one..Just leave them to take their own decisions..I try to guide thats all coz I too was frustrated in various stages of life unable to proceed in my direction of dreams..Compromising all the time..but then That is life I believe,..No regrets whatsoever..every experience has taught me to be more firm and bolder while arriving on mature decisions..It helps a great deal when we face certain situations in life..be it us or our friends..We can always help them in deciding on certain crucial issues of life..Never trying to be very intrusive of course..
Let us Live and Let Live..My Policy of life
What say my dear Jyothi ?
You write so very well !!!
Love ya
Beautifully said..so true..glad to know..that we share a common thread in our diverse lives..unifying us..<3<3
A nice recollection of emotions expressing both question and answer. Yes. It is a sort of selling out for own survival, security or rather a premium for protection from getting misled or misguided. When balance it in the end of the day it is all about a struggle for existence and survival of the fittest.
Thank you sir. Very aptly said.
in 1 line – It looks like a summary or rather an outline story of my life. Not going into that much, because if I do, it will be longer than the blog itself.
” making most of what you got! ” yes!
Though I havent witnessed as much springs of life, as have you, but this blogpost is something, I can relate my current life to.
‘Peer Pressure’, well, I dunno to what extent, I should rant against it, would it be right or wrong, I dunno. But, One thing for sure, my progenies wont be living the life, as I am living, or say, as I am being made lived. I guess that pretty much sums up and subtles, my rant.
Directions, parents do have that right and do it for well being for sure, but, at times the distinction between ‘directing’ and ‘expecting how-you-ought-to-be ‘ is lost in oblivion. They can direct the flow, not build a dam restricting it. It sort of leads to piling up of cases, where we would have acted differently.
And, I fear, if I’ll ever regret someday, ‘my life could have been something else’.
Love is there for sure. Its mutual. but, respect for them pawns this love, and freedom to express.
Nice post. I relate.
Thanks Jo.
God Bless.
well said, mannku
Its.not possible all the time that u do the same what u think the reason what may be.But u never compare yourself wid others.one shud be very strong about work and ambition.No expection from other even in love.In life we all r flowing like rivers.one shud never be disapponted.jyothi u.r very nice n sweet bcose u r very frank from ur heart.
First, I wish to Understand the TERMS : : : : : : : : : my understanding . . . .
Contradiction . . . is “not” a sign of falsity.
Independence . . . is never without “circumstantial” support.
Courage . . . is an inspired “SUCCESS”.
Improvement . . . is a natural “need” for survival.
Uniformly . . . . result of compromises.
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Blogger : What do you think?
fakeerGandhi : “Contradiction” is a myth, there cant be any Contradiction at any given time. Our every actions & reactions are always ‘right & justified’, only time later may prove those to be wrong. Our attitude (including ‘courage’) depends on SWOT (strength-weakness-opportunity-threat). Since our “Life” is not mechanical, it cant be UNIFORMly designed. “Experience” gained is Most Secured Asset in hand. I therefore, say : “Never regret the past” .
Thanks
nicely said
If we were to do everything in the best possible way – than how monotonous life would have been. We act/react on a situation in the best possible way at that moment. Looking back – some of them would look to have been good ; while some real bad.
We are all conditioned by the experiences that life provides. Hence there will be control mechanisms in place which will make us do/ or not do.
Life is not about what you do/ don’t. But about what happens post that. People carry off failures better than how some people carry off success. Thus as the wise one said : Life is a stage. We are actors. Put up your best act. An actor learns with experience. So do us.
nicely said
My response is not complete. I can only indicate to a book written in 1920 by a Russian Author, book titled, “The Fourth Way”.
It says, there are many ‘I’ in us. Today at 7.00 AM, an ‘I’ comes and resolves that he will do something at 6 PM today.
But, ‘I’ who comes at 6.00PM is an altogather a different ‘I’.
This ‘I’ refuses to follow our ‘I’ which was in us at 7.00 AM.
The our ‘I’ at 6.00 PM acts differently.
Thus our contradiction arises.
The book says, in fact, a whole parliament of different ‘I’ keeps going on whole day in our head.
So what is the answer? How to harmonise our life when a whole parliament of different ‘I’ keeps going on our head whole day?
The place and time span is too short to describe various concepts and solutions explained in the book.
But some credibility, can be given to the fact that these 1920 books of Russian Author have resurfaced, reprinted and you may find somewhere on net more about this book.
Someone, translated this book in Gujarati. And that is how I got printed copy of this book and read the concepts.
@hareshraichura
Sir, this is excellent. This is what i have been wondering of since a long time. I will try to get this book which u refer to..
Thanks for your comment.
It’s funny now that every time I read you there is always a song playing in my mind. You are so right we can hold certain thoughts yet our actions don’t match.
There is a song that goes…my mind knows it’s over…but how do I tell it to my heart…
I feel this shows the contradictions that we go through. From the decision making process. Right through the actions we do. Something does hold us back…sometimes it’s a good thing…other times…not such a good thing.
Thanks
It has been a worry for me for sometime. And to see whether we are not losing something precious in life by our inability to manage this..and so uncanny, i always have asong playing in my head when i write..
Thanks for the beautiful thought
Total freedom in every field is a Utopian dream. The society we live in imposes some restrictions. It is not for you only it is for everybody. It is a sort of sacrifice to be made. Yes a compromise to live together in the society accommodating all.