To believe or not to believe: A woman’s account of domestic violence and public responses
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The tweet that started it all..A rather disturbing and scary story of love turning violent and abusive..
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“the story of my marriage, domestic violence, and unmarriage fb.me/S6UstBlu
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“RT @Ruminativa Read ts terrible true story of her life by @meenakandasamy: the story of my (cont) tl.gd/gc99fi
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As the story spread, people spouted their opinions. And the views were either 100 % in support or 100 % critical to even demonising the writer. Was there any objective view point? Let us look at some of the responses.As expected, some men were sceptical and not willing to accept the story 100%. They expressed the need to know the story from the other side. This is relevant as obviously you cannot make a judgement, without knowing both sides. But in my view, benefit of doubt should be given. As often the great majority of domestic violence cases are women, and many times they are silent sufferers.
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“It is cruel of him & I empathise with @meenakandasamy but It is only 1 side story. Otherside could b a diff story. @kannaniyyer @Ruminativa
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“@Ruminativa I never make judgments based on oneside story. She may be 100% right, but I don’t have trust her just because she is a woman.
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“@Ruminativa I know it happens, even more worse, cruel. That doesn’t mean I have to accept all one sided stories.
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“@Ruminativa What I feel is she can’t be 100% correct or wrong, what she has done to him only husband can tell.
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“Exactly. There can’t be any better truth. RT @Ruminativa @AMadumoole I agree wholeheartedly. Truth may be somewhere in between.
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“@Ruminativa If it is true, what can we say? She will be one among the millions facing brutality. Cruel world.
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A few men like @CaptCk stood up for the lady concerned. It is really nice to such positive responses from men
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“@AMadumoole @meenakandasamy @kannaniyyer @Ruminativa No, i fell her story is true and has no (cont) tl.gd/gcab89
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There were others who totally trashed it, and more importantly, the person. Mainly because this lady was involved in an incident of tweeple abuse on twitter.Some were actually, downright rabid about her because of her known political leanings.
A few men, stood up for the lady. -
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“@kannaniyyer She is a story writer, I feel it is just a fiction. @Ruminativa
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Some were totally unsympathetic..because she is a celeb, it is presumed that she is doing this for driving up her TRPs.
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“@TheArvindDhar @sprayrose @Ruminativa she is just TRP driven “oppressed” woman- how do they differ from skin and spin variety?
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This is what Meena said in response to the critical and questioning tweets :
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“to those who disbelieve, my friends who saw me through the suffering know if it is true or not @Ruminativa @Capt_Ck
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Some questioned her on this:
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“@meenakandasamy @Ruminativa @Capt_Ck What were your friends watching you suffer do ?
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“@meenakandasamy Brutality with u is so barbaric but can we have the otherside story. There must be some story,though not true. @Ruminativa
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I mentioned that everyone has a right to present their stories..and..
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Ultimately, perceptions differ. How do you know what is true? How can you know what is true in such cases? In which the only witnesses are the protagonists themselves?
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“@sprayrose @Ruminativa Facts also may differ. Wht abt other side- TRP driven literature like TV serials-
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My friend says that had it not been for her knowledge of participation and support of an online abuse case, she would have supported her. And that is also right.
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The supporters..those who are on the other side of the spectrum..A publicised incident involving a well known person is naturally going to invite discussions/comments/opinions of all shades.. So, you really cannot blame people from going all over the story.. There will be both believers and doubters…though it is a traumatic experience for the person involved..
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“@atiyaz @meenakandasamy @Ruminativa @Capt_Ck exactly.instead of discussing domestic violence, ppl incl women are questioning victim’s agenda
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“@atiyaz @meenakandasamy @ruminativa @capt_ck What’s not to believe? With different characters, the story must repeat thousand times a day
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“@atiyaz @meenakandasamy @ruminativa @capt_ck This one actually got over it & is able to speak up through print- think of the Mute ones!
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“@atiyaz @meenakandasamy @Ruminativa @Capt_Ck Shocking really after i read ur piece in Outlook,
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And a tweep @Alaphia who is experienced in handling domestic violence cases has this to say..and drives the point in..it is all words from either side..
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Is there a necessity to comment on other traits of the person concerned? Her political beliefs and leanings, ideologies? How have they contributed to the domestic violence story? Or could they have?
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“@meenakandasamy Friends cant B reliable sources 2 verify truth,as a rationalist U shd know. @Ruminativa @Capt_Ck
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And @Alaphia stresses the whole difficulty in such cases is about finding proofs.
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And towards the end, There is this very objective question and comments raised..which I think is what should be the key ..How to deal and manage abusive relationships. At the end of the day, both abuser and victim are caught in a vicious cycle.
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And the debate and discussions will continue.. and I strongly pray that Meena will obtain justice.The critical question which all society needs to think about is how can victims of domestic violence/rape/aggression ( be it any gender) come forward, if this is the sort of public crucification, they are going to be subjected to? This is just the virtual world. Imagine the sort of agony and harassment which a victim and especially an unknown face will undergo in the world..What is my view? I will post it on my blog..
True Love achievable to man or woman only after withering away of State-Family-Marriage .
i dont know.